WTF!RPG

Six words summarizes it all. Level one ranger. Malevolent red dragon.

Ilona and the Red Dragon has become a cult classic story in our gaming group’s WTF moments. Each time we speak of WTF moments, chances are, the Ilona story would creep up to the fore.

A good friend of mine, whom I’ll hide under the name Venus de’Milo. Is a great and talented writer, decided to join our first level DND game. Which may have had a hand in this WTF moment… as writers are used to having control over the situation, whence rpgs rely more on setting interaction, dice rolls and solid stats. Venus created a ranger in accordance to a favorite self-made character the heroine Ilona. Her biggest quest is to find a dragon in order to ride and begin her legend as a dragon rider. Okay so far right?

Well, things didn’t turn out too well in the game. Suffice it to say, it was no Eragon.

Ilona left her party to indulge herself in a singular quest to find a Dragon mount (at level one, yes, I told the player several times that it wasnt possible at the ECL level) – but since I’m a kindly GM I allowed it. Ilona went into a “malevolent” red cave (I gave very very keen emphasis on the word malevolent) where she saw a malevolent red dragon. It was sleeping.

Now, before I could introduce the plot hook of the dragon eggs and hatchlings (whom I intended for her to raise up slowly and become a cohort and eventually a mount) – she bellowed at the top of her voice.

“Ho! Dragon!” she shouted. “Bow to your master, and be my loyal mount!” She continued with something akin to her wanting to ride the dragon, but let’s not go there…

The red dragon, seeing a lone female figure interrupting its sleep and bellowing in a overtly commanding voice, and so very close to its unhatched eggs… well, guess what happened?

Yup. Big badass Breath of Fire.

Ilona had like 10 hp or something.

But since I was a kindly GM, I allowed a saving throw to allow her to survive the encounter…. with one remaining HP. So, she ran back to the town where her party awaited.

In that party, they have recently uncovered a 100 year old corpse, which awakened as ‘Astyanax’ a player character whose fluff story is about a ruthless mage in suspended animation. He, as well, weakened by his sleep is a level one mage. Ilona walked to the corpse and looted the body, not knwoing it was a player character. The player was angered by this and launched a magic missile at her. With one HP, it was an auto hit and an auto kill.

♦♦♦♦

Mr. Nonsense notes: I couldnt give a saving throw because it’d be unfair. It was just a very WTF moment. I felt so bad for the player (who took the character death very emotionally) that I just had to create a scene where Astyanax and a Paladin had to rescue her from the death realm of the Abyss. (There’s another WTF moment there, but I’ll leave it for next time.) Suffice it to say, Ilona lived to see another day, and though we didnt reach the level where she might actually get a mount – I’m sure the story’ll be told about that someday.

Deserves the Official Brand of WTF.